Stomp of Approval!!!

Monday, June 13, 2011

So Saturday I went for a nice 13 miler early in the morning so as to avoid burning the soles of my feet off and I made several keen observations during my run. I drove down to the far end of my new favorite running road (FM 421) and parked my truck. I started off at about 5:55 and headed back the 13 miles to town. 421 is a back road thats PERFECT for barefoot running, its 2 lane with a good sized sholder, slight rolling hills, some good sweeping curves, lots of farm land type scenery, and the biggest plus is that its very seldomly traveled. Its the perfect road to haul ass down in a sports car or motorcycle. Being that the road is really in the middle of nowhere, I get to enjoy the wildlife that runs rampant in the area. On this particular run I saw a few deet and was accompanied by 2 little stray puppies for a few miles.

Anyways, it was a great run and heres a few interesting discoveries I made that I thought might be of value or interest to others...

1) Since Ive started running barefoot Ive noticed a trend forming where I have an uncanny ability to unintentionally step in dead animals. It seems that the smaller the animal, the more likely I am to feel its carcass fill up the spaces between my toes. In the case of this run it seemed that small squashed toads were my foot cushion of choice. I have a pretty in depth theory and explination on this subject that I will discuss more thoroughly in the future via a seperate entry.

2) Horses give me the strangest looks when I run by them. Ive gotten plenty of strange looks in my lifetime, but these take the cake! I always talk to them after staring back for a few minutes. Ill usually try to come up with something a little edgy and original with a slight aftertaste of disrespect like "Why the long face?". But it usually backfires into something more along the lines of "I bet your staring at me cause you want a horsey back ride, well not today pancho!" then I realize it is I who is supposed to ride the horse, so I try to recounter my previous statement with "I mean, you wish I was on your back, cause then it would be you doing the work and me looking at you doing the work and laughing to myself.." and at this point Im talking to myself because Ive already passed the horses, so I feel like a bigger fool... Damn horses and their mind games...

3) Goats, Cows, Sheep, and Rams dont seem to give 2 shits about me. While horses show vauge interest, sort of like when you see a cactus outside of a mexican resturant although cacti (is that right?) arent native to your area. But cows and other farmland animals (with the exception of bird-esque animals like roosters amd ducks) dont even take notice of me. It was suggested that I start carrying a pitchfork and bar-b-que sauce with me on my long runs, but none of these animals have opposable thumbs, so I dont see how these items would spark interest either. I guess they know Im of no danger to them because A) their not dead, so Im not going to step on them or B) Im not currently eating meat. Either way they need to realize that I am an attention whore and I demand some attention!!!

3) I forgot #3...

4) Snakes are awesome! I knew this waaaaaaay before I even started running, but I saw a little copper head crossing the road and it reminded me of their sheer awesomeness! Id like to imagine that he was trying desperatley to flee from the oncoming awesomeness that is myself, but Im sure he was just trying to cross the road before it became too hot. Oddly enough I was doing the same thing, so I guess in a way the snake and myself are like one mystical being on a path through life destined to cross roads when cool.

5) Dogs make the best running buddies. They dont complain when I fart, blow snot rockets, sing off key, tell them to slow down cause I cant keep up, and they dont require conversation. I havent ran with a dog in a long long time, but I do miss it. My last running dogs name was "Newton" and his back right hip was bad, so he couldnt put pressure on his back right leg. To conpensate for this he would hop on his back left leg and pull himself forward with his 2 front legs. He was an awesome dog and was right by my side no matter how fast or long I was running for.

6) If I got into a place where I doubted myself or felt like stopping or started feeling "off" in any way, taking off in a sprint or any increased pace for 100-400 meters would bring me right out of it in a snap. Even picking up the pace slightly for a mile or so would help out alot. Not sure if it was the increased adrendaline or what, but it worked nicely!

8) I think of the strangest shit when Im out on long runs. The most pointless, unimportant, rediculous thoughts come to mind. Really, how important is it for me to figure out how to breed giraffes down to a max heigth of 5'5"? Please dont mistake this for those retarted Direct TV ads with the supposed "Minature Lap Giraffes" that really dont exist, and would be pointless if they did. This is the real deal here! Genuine household sized giraffes. Another pointless thought, what would you see if you made your way inside a perfect sphere made of a mirrored surface? I would bet that your life would seem dull after that, kind of like how regular ice cream tastes after youve had Blue Bell.... Nothing really lives up after that ya know? I really think it would ruin a person. That said, what would happen if you set a red laser light inside of this life destroying sphere and turned it on? Would it open a portal to another world where people are born with shoes on their feet and teeth on their fingers? I sure as hell DONT want to find that out...

These are all just small examples of how my typical long runs go. I actually wore my "SPI Belt" on this run since I had to carry my phone to call the wifey, so I plan on writing my first product review over the "SPI Belt" as I was actually quite pleased with its performance!!

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